Who Would Have Ever Thought Penguins were so Perverted?

Since Happy Feet graced our screens as a tap-dancing sensation, a talent which he used to snag his lifetime mate Gloria (a female emperor penguin), we hold penguins up as models of monogamy. The startling truth, however, is that divorce rates are high among penguins as well as gang rape, child abuse, theft, and kidnapping. However, out of all the species of these adorable birds, Adélie penguins are the ones best known for prostitution. The New York Post reports that Adélie penguins are “one of the only animals on the planet to have turned to prostitution.”

While most females love diamonds, female Adéliepenguins love stones. They say sticks and stones break bones but for these penguins, stones are the aim of the game in this astonishing sex trade. Female Adéliepenguins have sex with male penguins that are not their mates in order to steal stones from them. BBC Earth reports that a shortage of stones has pushed many females into ‘prostitution: they mate with other males in exchange for stones. Some duplicitous females have started going through the elaborate courtship ritual to get the stones, and then running off before the male can mate. Both sexes also steal stones from their rivals’ nests.”

Dr. George Murray Levick studied Antarctic penguins in 1911–1912 for a period of twelve weeks and what he found shocked him. He reported that they were “constant acts of depravity”, penguin colonies were rife with masturbation, pedophilia, necrophilia, recreational sex, sodomy, and much more alarming acts. Woah! Do you still think penguins are cute and cuddly?

Despite all of these facts, Disney is set to release it’s strategically aligned, Disneynature: Penguins, on April 22nd, Earth Day 2019. On Earth Day, organizations and people all around the world engage in activities to benefit the environment while increasing awareness about how pollution affects our world, never did they think that Earth Day will be used to promote penguin depravity. On Earth Day 2019, Disneynature, the independent Walt Disney Studio unit which specializes in the production of nature documentary films, is focusing on the experiences of an Adéliepenguin which they have affectionately named Steve.

The trailer indicates that the 76-minute video footage starts on a light comical note, Steve’s clumsiness is adorable; however, the trailer shows that Steve will have to overcome many dangerous situations in order to find a mate and become a father.

Will one of these dangerous situations include avoiding prostitutes or sodomy? Hmmmm…we can only hope, right? If you are going to record penguins for over 800 days to complete a Disneynature film, I sure hope it is a true representation of penguin society. It is interesting to note that in most of the shots, Steve is alone, he may very well be the only penguin in the colony that is pure of heart, just like Billy Batson in Shazaam. Let’s hope that Steve is a modern-day Lot and that the Disney nature production team found the diamond in the rough in the modern-day penguin Sodom & Gomorrah.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s